Monday, March 2, 2015

I Am Not Surprised

How abundant are the good things
that you have stored up for those who fear you
that you bestow in the sight of all
on those who take refuge in you
Psalm 31:19

     God did something pretty freaking miraculous yesterday and I am grateful and humbled and excited and refreshed, but I am not surprised. God is love and love is generous and over and over God lavishes love on those who rest in the Divine Mystery. So when someone I've known just a little over a month handed me a large check today I was a lot of things, but surprised is not one of them. Ok, so some backstory might be in order after a teaser like that!

      I have had Quiet for three years now and I am so grateful that it is growing at a slow but steady pace, but perhaps I should have been a better business woman and prepared for the landlord to go up $400 in rent. I anticipated the standard 3-5% annuals rent hike, but did not anticipate what was actually happening and this last lease renewal he priced me right out of the building. So I sent emails to two groups I'm in looking for leads on a subleaser or a new space and I posted the same request on FaceBook. I should have known better than to narrow down my choices to A and B when God has been working with me on that lesson. There is always a choice C sometimes and most times the choices are unlimited. I am absolutely humbled by the kindness of the people who reached out with encouraging words or offers to spread the word or help me find choice A or B. Sometimes at Quiet I feel kinda lonely but the sometimes invisible community is kind and loving and really filled my heart with humility with their gentle replies.

     Unbeknownst to me God had put it on the heart of one person that they needed to help me a few weeks before I sent out these requests.  So, this person shared that they spent days praying and didn't know what to do. This to me is as precious as gold and as sweet as honey. that a near stranger would lift up my efforts to God makes me beyond grateful. In scripture the Holy Spirit is called the Advocate who weaves together humanity. I didn't know what I needed and this person did not yet know what I needed but God did.

     Besides Quiet being priced out of my range I had also recently learned halfway through my yoga therapy training that to finish would be a lot of additional money, not a happy surprise and I was contemplating just giving that up as well even though I could feel the desire to continue burning in my heart. So I mentioned that I was excited. The check this stranger handed to me was enough to cover the rent increase for a year and put a deposit on the end of yoga therapy training. So, yes I am refreshed renewed and excited to continue learning, growing and serving.

     So, some way back story: over a decade  ago in the parking lot of an half abandoned strip center I found the pay envelope of an undocumented worker. At first finding an envelope with $1600 in it with no identification except a latin sounding first name made me pretty darn excited. I was young and that was bank! But I prayed before anything and God's still small voice whispered "This is not for you". So, in an amazing (but not surprising) adventure God lead me miles across town straight to this person. When I asked their name and why they were frantically searching their car I knew what I had to do and as I drove away they were standing there pay in hand jaw gaping. So, this time of course I prayed again. it is a big thing to take a lot of money from someone. Not in Gods universe, but in my head there were a few stumbling blocks. But this time the still small voice simply whispered "this is for you".

     I don't know what I can add to this amazing story. I want to cry from the gratitude that cannot be contained in this small human vessel. I want to jump up and down at finishing yoga therapy school. But mostly I just want to hold space at Quiet for one more year. I am a whirlwind of emotions this morning, but no surprise is not one of them. The same God who fills the fields with color in the spring and the sky every night with stars is the same God that loves you and I and this abundant amazing Divine Mystery longs to lavish love on us all. Sometimes the love is small, a glance of gratitude from someone, a doggie kiss and sometimes that lavish love is large. And this was one of those large lavish times.