Two Questions

     The Joy of the Lord is My Strength

Neh 8:10

     I know the way to build a blog is to be regular in posting, but writing is something that I enjoy and I will not force myself to do it. Words whether spoken or written have the power of life and death in them and our words must flow from a place of love and gratitude for them to have the power to shift us positively. So, that was a round about explanation/apology for my month long silence, but it really is better to say nothing at all than to just put words out there for the sake of a blog, or being avoiding silence.There is a popular saying that it is better for a man to keep his mouth shut and be though a fool than to open it and prove that he is a fool.
    
     The path of the spiritual seeker and wanna be mystic can be fraught with twists and turns that distract or divert our attention from the moment and from love.  This is simply part of being human to turn our necks and check out accidents or to spend too long watching cute kittens on YouTube. We are made to transcend and live miraculous lives in the spirit that is true but on the way we must make peace with the parts of us that are fleshy and hungry and sometimes downright dirty. Trying to suppress our humanity can lead to complete breakdowns and into addictions and neurosis. It really is best to embrace our darkness and coexist with it as we cultivate our light. We all need help and tools to guide us along the way to light and love. We need friends to tell us we are being whacked. We need words to guide us and we need consequences to teach us. Lately I have been heavily relying on two questions to be spotlights shining on the path ahead. The first "What is my next loving act?" has guided me both to embrace my light and also to embrace my darkness. let me explain.
 
     Every life is about balance. You know at some point in her life Mother Teresa did something unkind and at some point Hitler did something nice. We are all naughty and we are all nice, just how it is. Again trying to suppress our darkness only reinforces and strengthens it. So sometimes when I ask myself "what is the next loving act?" the answer is to meditate or pray or do yoga and sometimes the answer is to allow myself that martini or kitty video. The question I have been asking myself is not "what is the next spirit building act, or what is the next 'good' act" But rather "what is the next LOVING act?" and in that question I take into account that sometimes it is loving to forget myself and do an act of service for someone else. Sometimes the loving act is to feed my highest self and perhaps just be really present while doing my chores. But every once in awhile the loving act truly is to allow my humanity. To remember that on one hand we are gold and at the same time we are dust. and before the dust settles there may be a mess. Love the mess, it is a part of you.

     The second question I have been using to guide my actions is "Am I doing this resentfully?" What we do is  less consequential than how we do it. The quality of our energy is everything. it is better to sit and do nothing joyfully than it is to do acts of service with resentment. When we do stuff resentfully thoughts like "I should" and "there's no one else to do this" often alert us to an underlying resentment. Resentment is an insidious energy that drains us and everyone around us and it is better to leave chores undone than to fill your home with resentment. It is better to leave a blog untended than to resentfully write something because you "should". It is better to leave a sink full of dishes than it is to simmer in resentment as you wash them. We have two things we must master to grow. Our attention and our presence. The first question "what is the next loving act?" tells us where to place our attention. The second question "Am I doing this resentfully?" will cue us in to the quality of our presence. This blog was my next loving act and done without a stitch of resentment and I hope in my thoughts you find your questions and keep reaching for the light. Happy Holidays fellow seekers.